7 Things to Practice to Embrace My 7-year-old Self

I recently completed my 49th trip around the sun. For those who like to play with numbers (as I do), it’s my “7 squared” birthday. Remember being a 7-year-old kid? I feel like it’s that time of life when you can just soak in the full glory of the world. You’re in the prime of childhood, mastering skills like reading, ‘rithmatic, and riding bikes. Hard times come in the form of scraped knees; things that can be repaired by band-aids. No one can stop you from taking on the world, at least in your imagination. 

Yesterday I went out to celebrate and contemplate this latest life milestone in my beloved Catskill Mountains. Walking, watching, and thinking back on being 7, I came up with 7 things to practice to embrace, remember, and reclaim this idyllic age. And by practice, I mean that it’s a continual work in progress for me to remember all this and live by it. But I keep trying.

#1 Stay Curious

I think that keeping myself in a state of curiosity keeps me from becoming jaded and judgemental. When I’m curious, I’m remembering that there are many ideas, many viewpoints, and many solutions, most of which I have not experienced yet. When I find myself in a difficult situation or conversation, remembering to ask questions helps me to keep an open mind, and keeps my ego at bay.

#2 Play

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.”  – George Bernard Shaw

One of my dreams is to return to my college library and embark on an epic game of hide-and-go-seek. In addition to the stacks of books, the library is filled with hidden staircases at the end of rows, underground tunnels to different parts of the building, and corridors with hallways that lead to other hallways, which lead to other hidden staircases. 

Whether it’s hide-and-go-seek or making up words to songs with my kids, playing never fails to put a smile on my face. I love returning to the feelings of silliness and joy, and it’s oh-so fun to cast aside notions of decorum and dance with wild abandonment down the aisles of the grocery store, forgetting for a few minutes that you are almost half a century old. 

I’m still looking to have that full round of hide-and-go-seek in the library, preferably after hours, with flashlights. Who wants to join me?

#3 Everything is Connected

So much of my musings this year have revolved around the idea of connection. My mother died when I was very young, and I often have times where I’m angry and resentful that I don’t have memories with her, that I don’t have the benefit of the words of wisdom that she might have imparted to me. But I have a connection to her that goes far deeper than those fleeting moments. Her DNA is embedded in my cells, her blood has flowed through my veins. I see her undeniably reflected in myself when I am kneading dough and making pie crusts (her first job was working for the American Institute of Baking). I see her in my love of knitting and weaving, as one of the only memories I have of her is a fuzzy moment of me at age three, sitting by her feet and sorting skeins of yarn. 

Just like that yarn, my life is connected by threads to so many others, an ongoing tapestry that extends in all directions.

#4 Make Mistakes

This practice has been one of the hardest for me. I think of myself as a recovering perfectionist. So much of my life was spent in a futile effort to control actions and outcomes. In my mind, mistakes meant that I was bad, or unworthy. 

Slowly I’m coming to understand an alternate way of looking at mistakes. They are how we learn, how we grow, how we understand life and ourselves on a deeper level. They are how new ideas form and the basis of creative inspiration. I’m working on letting a few more mistakes into my life.

#5 The Little Things are the Big Things

Many times throughout the course of my life I have put so much pressure on myself to have a certain achievement, a specific outcome. In those moments, those goals seemed so essential to my life and my future. Whether it was getting into a particular college, or landing the exact first job, or getting married by a certain age, it became a monumental goal that threatened to undo my future and my self-worth if I didn’t get it exactly right. 

In my “7-squared” years of experience, I’ve come to realize that these so-called monumental moments don’t loom quite as large. Yes, they have had an impact on the course of my life. But in the end, they have come, and gone. Having another option would not have been the end of the world. 

What has stayed with me are my values, my mission in life – to live simply, to laugh, love, and learn from family and community, and to do my part to make the world a better place. What has influenced that core has not been my choice of college or my first job. It’s been the journey. The conversations I’ve had with people I’ve met while hiking, the wonder I’ve felt in peering through the darkened forest into a sunlit meadow, and the texture of my children’s hair as I kiss their heads. Almost always, it’s the little things.

#6 Life is Messy and Beautiful

My friend and mentor Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui says this all the time. I highly encourage you to read her post: A Beautiful and Meaningful Life is Messy. It’s been a game changer for me. Or perhaps I should say a life-changer. 

So much of our culture tells us that life should be tidy and easy and perfect. That someday, if we do everything right and when everything is crossed off of our to-do list, we’ll be able to sit back at the beach with a book forever. But it’s not true. Invariably, the wind will pick up and blow sand on our towel, our legs will get sunburnt, and the book will get wet. 

Life by its very nature is unpredictable. Things will change. There will ALWAYS be challenges to work through. What I’ve realized is this: getting through those hard times is what brings meaning to our lives. They show us what we’re capable of. They make life a crazy, roller-coaster ride of emotions. And, if we look at it through 7-year-old eyes, the tumbleweeds and chaos can turn into a whirlwind of joy.

#7 You Are Enough

The author Lynn Twist speaks best to this, so I will quote her words from The Soul of Money:

“We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of… We’re not thin enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough or fit enough or educated or successful enough, or rich enough – ever. Before we sit up in bed or our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking…

We each have the choice in any setting to step back and let go of the mind-set of scarcity. Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency. Sufficiency isn’t a measure of barely enough or more than enough. It isn’t an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough.” 

I believe that my 7-year-old self knew this, despite being a motherless child. She was silly and scrappy and what she lacked in hair styling skills she made up for in spunk. Somewhere along the way I forgot, and now I’m grateful to be back on the road to remembering that in all of my imperfect human-ness, I am enough. 

My wish for you dear reader, is for you to find your way back to these things as well.